Hati.....perasaan?

Assalamualaikum.

"Allah boleh ubah perasaan dalam hati manusia tu sekelip mate je masy"

Salah seorang rakan aku cakap mcm nie kat aku. And surprisingly, ade sorang lelaki pun cakap perkara yg hampir same dgn statement di atas nie. Kebetulan? Wallahualam. Bile bercakap psl hati n perasaan nie, I'm not an expert. Expertise aku hanye lah dalam perasaan marah, emo dan sebagainya (hehe..). Bukan senang aku nak cakap bende2 nie. Haha..

 Kadang2, aku xpaham perasaan yang ade pada diri aku dan pada diri orang laen jugak. Nak kate xmatang lagi, matang dah kot. Hehe..tapi tu la. Seperti statement kat atas tu, Allah boleh ubah perasaan orang tu sekelip mate je. Tanpa diminta, tanpa dipinta. Aku jadi blur dengan ape yg berlaku kat sekeliling aku skang nie. Xtau la blur sebab nak exam, sebab xde orang ke ape. Aku pun xtau. Ditambah lagi dengan pemerhatian aku kat orang sekeliling. Ah~ sepatutnye aku buat xpeduli je. Penat! Penat memerhati sebenarnye. Tetibe rase burn out plak. Sedangkan xde org yg memburn outkan aku. Ntah la. Fikiran jadi x center. Blur. Fikiran kosong. 

Nak luah kat orang lain, xpe la. Takut diorang xpaham. Rasa yg ada dalam hati biarlah aku pendam sendiri (bole blah x ayat aku?) Naseb baek ade blog. Thank you blog. At least, lepas jugak la ape yg aku nak luah. Huhu..peace out!

Dream..

Assalamualaikum.

I had a dream last night. Strange, weird dream. But it's quite pleasant (for me. haha..) This is happening during my unconscious stage. There goes Freudian theory. hehe..

Place: Something like cyber cafe. But I'm sure there's computer in that place

Time: Not sure

Event: There's three of us. Me, A and B. A and B was using the computer. I'm on the sofa (I think) behind them. Suddenly, A leaving B and sit on the floor (weird huh?), and then standing and walked towards me. And then A sit beside me. There's gap between us at first but as time goes by, he become closer to me. Until our shoulders met. I think in my dream, I have crush on A. Not long after that, I put my head on his shoulder. I feel weird myself but still doing it. Haha...and then, he hold my hand. For quite a long time.

Out of nowhere, some of my friends come to that place. I feel uneasy. Because I don't want them to know my relationship with A. A happen to become their friend too in my dream. Sigh~ A suddenly pull my hand to going outside that place. And the weird part is none of my friend notice that he held my hand. But I pull my hand quickly from him and I woke up.


I'm praying a lot after I woke up. How can I dreaming like that? T_T.  Forgive me Allah.

After all, it is just a dream.

Bolehkah aku kasihan kepada mereka?

Assalamualaikum.

Hari nie, aku pergi 1 program. Erm..program ni xbole kalau xpegi sebab part of deviance's assignments. Kitorang pergi ke Asrama Akhlak Pokok Sena. Kat sane xbole nak tangkap gambar so no picture available la utk entry nie. Huhu...

Asrama nie bukan asrama biase. Asrama nie utk budak2 bwh umur tapi ade kes juvana (sumthing like that). Diorang kene masuk sini pun atas perintah mahkamah tapi ade jugak yg masuk sebab permintaan parents (mase briefing, aku xde. so ak xsure sgt. hoho...). LDK memang start lambat, well, lagi lambat drpd yg dirancangkan. Ikot plan, pukul 3. Tp kul 3.30 baru mule. nak mule awal, xbule plak sebab budak2 nie baru balik sekolah.

Aku pun lambat masuk LDK sebab uruskan makanan etc. Tapi bile tengok muke budak2 tu, first thought aku ialah "oh, kasihan budak2 nie". Bile fikir2 balik, memang bole nangis la. Kenape budak2 umur 15, 16 tahun bole terjebak dengan kes2 besar? Salah sape sebenarnye? Salah parents? Salah diri sendiri? Salah rakan sebaya? Aku sendiri pun xpasti. I kept thinking about it over and over again. But I just kept holding that thought back too.

All I know, my heart shattered to see these young fellows. It just bugging me to think about them. I pray to Allah to give them strength in facing their every day's live. Amin.

The end?

Assalamualaikum.

Tough week, very tough. Walaupun berada dalam mode yang malas giler, tapi aku cuba jugak selesaikan segala macam assignment yang perlu disubmit minggu nie.

Well, this week pun nak sampai ke penghujungnya. So, agak lega la jugak. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Walaupun masih ada sisa-sisa microteaching n assignment yang perlu dilakukan n program jugak, tapi beban yang berat aku pikul nie da lepas la.

This past 2 weeks......phew...can't describe it with words. But I've gained strength, thanks to Allah. =D